Listen up:  We went out to the Comedy Club and the audience was so full of douchebags it put me in a terrible mood.  Afterward we wandered to the parking garage and I scraped the paint off the front panel of my car running into a pillar, a real genius move.  While surveying the damage, Stewie and I got to talking about things that made us sad.  This never ends well, the both of us in terrible moods, and soon we were sitting on the ground in the parking garage crying and being utterly, terribly miserable.

From the window, Stewie saw an acoustic guitar leaning up against the wall near the entrance to the Comedy Club.  He decided that we couldn't pass it by, so we went down to investigate the guitar.  It was all alone and seemed to belong to nobody. He started to play it.  Something was rattling around inside of it - it was a dollar!  A guy wandering by asked if he could sit next to us, and we said yes. We told him how we had found the guitar and that there was a dollar inside it, and he said, "America!"  Then he surprised us by knowing what a jib was.   He told me he could probably answer almost any question I had, so I asked him by what mechanimsm humans are able to digest lactose beyond infancy.  It was true; he knew the answer.

We all parted ways and it was okay because the world felt much better to live in.

Thanks guitar! Thanks Trivia Guy!