good memories, to Ryan

I remember sitting at the Precita Park Cafe in San Francisco on a Sunday morning; the sun was shining perfectly brightly and the whole world seemed super saturated in color.  I was drinking a Thai iced tea and eating a much-desired almond croissant, and sitting there just marveling on how magical life was, then you sat across from me and smiled and my heart exploded.

The night that we went to see Looper at the theater, I remember getting to your apartment and being so turned on, and we dragged your futon into your bedroom while also discarding clothes at a rapid rate.

Last year on your birthday, when I came down to Chicago and we wandered around at night and got billy goat burgers.  We ended up sitting near Navy Pier in the dark.  The city seemed so busy behind us and the lake was so quiet and dark. I looked over at you in your adventure hat, and you smiled at me like we both knew a secret, and my heart exploded.

When you read the lolcat haggadah at Passover this last year.

I remember the summer before last when it was sooo hot and sticky.  I would go to your apartment and you would always have iced coffee with milk, and then we would snuggle and listen to music even though we were sticky and there was not much space on your bed.

I remember when we went to see Billy Elliot and I started crying.  I was trying hard not to cry obviously, but then I looked at you out of the corner of my eye and you were crying too.

Once we were walking around downtown late at night, not long after we met, and a drunk girl wearing really tall heels ran past us in a hurry.  We heard her fall halfway down the block, and you immediately exclaimed, "oh no!" and ran over to help her.

The time that we made orange chicken mush.  I like to watch you cook or bake: you get so focused and precise, and you move your hands in a certain way.  Also I thought the orange mush was delicious and I wish I had some right now to nom on.

When we went to see Reptar at the High Noon Saloon, and the way you danced around.

Going to the Free Culture conference in NYC!  Wandering around the city with you, and Scooter, and feeling so inspired and hopeful.

When we were at Mounds and you found the bag of dog treats with the awed and terrified dogs on it, and you said, "WHAT HAVE THESE DOGS SEEN?"

One night we were at Los Gemelos eatin' tacos and you told me a long story about how baby sperm whales learn to become monsters.

Any time I watch you flying a kite!

When we were at the Sutro Baths, and we thought we could see him on the way down the hill.  You exclaimed, turned around and hugged me, and then grabbed my hand and we ran down to the shore laughing.

Watching Marble Hornets with you under the blanket on your couch, being terrified!  I think you described it as, "high octane nightmare fuel"?

When we went to see the otters at Henry Vilas Zoo and you texted me from the other side of the exhibit to hurry to see the otter swimming.

Watching pig races with you at Schuster's, and hanging out with you and Schuyler all day that day.

The night that Ratt Damon crawled into the wall.  You were so worried about him, and then he came running out into the living room full of dirt and dust, and we had to give him a bath in the sink.  You held him and dried him off in a towel and my heart exploded.

On Valentine's Day when you stopped by the clinic after you were done with work and brought me the otter valentine that you made.  I look at it on my Wall of Good Things sometimes when I am sad. Afterward Ann was like, "Ryan is the best!"

Drawing pictures with you at the WVMA Winter Retreat and the notepad you filled with pictures and quotes.

When I lost my mind and started crying in Montreal as we were walking through the rain to catch the bus to the airport, and you ran back to the hostel and found the silly little heart I bought you, minus a googly eye.

The time that we found the eggplant with a nose at Hyvee.

When we made a big fancy Italian dinner for the dudebros, and then when we made it again for your mom for Mother's Day (and in the morning when we made my mom crepes.)  Our moms were so happy!

Making Egyptian mint tea at your apartment, and smoking double apple shisha just like we did in the East Village.

Getting lost in the dark at the top of the bluffs on Devil's Lake and having to be rescued.

Sleeping on the sidewalk outside the bus station in Chicago.  You fell asleep and I remember feeling this intense feeling of wanting to protect you from everything bad in the world.  Later you told me that you felt we had a mutual understanding that we both must not be upset at the situation. (Oh, and the story we made up about pirates and stairs and meat monsters! Oh! and getting mangoes the next day! mmmmmmangoes. And the yard full of toy horses that we found.  And when we returned this last year for more mangoes!)

Climbing up Red Rock in Vegas with you and Olivia and Beth. (oh! and the stratosphere rides that you went on with me even though you were scared!)

Reading through Decker's script with you and Ian at the Memorial Union.

Snuggling with you in the bunk beds at the hostels we stayed at in Montreal.  Especially the first one without the ladder that you had to pull me up into every time.

Falling asleep together on the train back from Chicago.

Actually, almost any time that we fall asleep together on a plane or train or otherwise in public.  You are a good person to fall asleep in public with.

When you answered the door at my apartment wearing double sunglasses (but nobody was there.)

Making supply lists for noggins on toboggans.

Scheming together at Manna or at Jade Mountain.

When we occupied the beltline together with OLB!

Watching you make challah for Passover.  And the pies we have made together, the strawberry rhubarb happy pie, and the curry pie, and some other pies.

Getting turned into zombies together last year the weekend before Halloween.

Running around learning how to be fearless and canvass for the Walker recall with you.

Digging around in the crumbling old empty building in Detroit.  And Donkey Burgers.

Watching you battle the waves at the wave pool.

When we sat on the floor at the Community Pharmacy together and looked through all of the homeopathic medicine.  I was looking for something for Jenny and wondered if I should ask the pharmacist if they had anything that was a placebo for somebody that thought they really had a problem, and you gave me a long look and leaned in and said would just ask me, "do you even KNOW where you are?"

When I made asparagus and tomato with lemon orzo pasta and you decided that you would like to start making food that would all be things that I made but with bacon added.

When you and Nate came over to my apartment and we had curry soup and made crepes.

The time we went ghost hunting near the old tuberculosis sanitarium, and you kept trying to scare me by grabbing me and hugging me and looking over my shoulder terrified.

Getting spicy cheese bread from the farmer's market.

Making milkshakes with my immersion blender.

When you made bat cupcakes for Jenny.